Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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