Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
