I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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