k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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