so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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