i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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