While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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