the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
