He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
