All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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