i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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