That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
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he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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