I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
