So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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