just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
