I cannot find my penis.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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