The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
