hell yes lets make some ravioli
Buhtt sex?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
