Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand

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  (970): Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand http://tfl.nu/igpj
  Replies (24) Good night (2610) Bad night (1127)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time

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  (505): Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time http://tfl.nu/wts0
  Replies (9) Good night (851) Bad night (2803)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?

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  (304): what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea? http://tfl.nu/0ytw
  Replies (9) Good night (1329) Bad night (4710)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?

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  (405): also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format? http://tfl.nu/009x
  Replies (27) Good night (6412) Bad night (1446)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign

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  (856): I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign http://tfl.nu/u6cw
  Replies (9) Good night (3181) Bad night (1107)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled

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  (281): His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled http://tfl.nu/gplx
  Replies (20) Good night (1059) Bad night (4366)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines

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  (319): i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines http://tfl.nu/w20p
  Replies (5) Good night (3081) Bad night (858)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded

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  (519): That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded http://tfl.nu/gpq0
  Replies (3) Good night (1911) Bad night (546)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.

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  (210): I want to break his glasses with my pelvis. http://tfl.nu/5x22
  Replies (10) Good night (1994) Bad night (547)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...

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  (214): I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex... http://tfl.nu/zoqe
  Replies (4) Good night (1896) Bad night (470)
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  (619): View more from California

  Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it

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  (619): Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it http://tfl.nu/a0r3
  Replies (1) Good night (1081) Bad night (409)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.

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  (336): No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine. http://tfl.nu/r6ac
  Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.

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  (801): At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it. http://tfl.nu/2oiv
  Replies (4) Good night (421) Bad night (538)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert

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  (203): I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert http://tfl.nu/7kxa
  Replies (2) Good night (452) Bad night (379)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.

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  (256): It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration. http://tfl.nu/toyt
  Replies (0) Good night (891) Bad night (274)

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