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• (647): View more from Ontario

  he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.

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• (518): View more from New York

  They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Fuck he won the bet

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.

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• (315): View more from New York

  In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (214): View more from Texas

  On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.

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