did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
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Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.