three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible