It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?