Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch. http://tfl.nu/y4b9
  Replies (20) Good night (730) Bad night (6909)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face http://tfl.nu/63az
  Replies (23) Good night (3560) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (67529) Bad night (3331)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name. http://tfl.nu/27vq
  Replies (15) Good night (5588) Bad night (1783)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children. http://tfl.nu/9yhs
  Replies (3) Good night (2901) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now http://tfl.nu/70jp
  Replies (2) Good night (2819) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund http://tfl.nu/czuk
  Replies (8) Good night (2607) Bad night (1363)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy. http://tfl.nu/ck7x
  Replies (18) Good night (1329) Bad night (2553)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better. http://tfl.nu/6a1r
  Replies (2) Good night (1164) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke http://tfl.nu/yym0
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake. http://tfl.nu/hj3n
  Replies (10) Good night (1127) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen. http://tfl.nu/oi7l
  Replies (1) Good night (955) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator http://tfl.nu/ric1
  Replies (9) Good night (845) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably. http://tfl.nu/joah
  Replies (3) Good night (492) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport http://tfl.nu/tt1b
  Replies (3) Good night (254) Bad night (563)

Randomize