help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
