Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.