while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night