i jhust puked up my retainher.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis