I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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