I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
