That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
As shirtless as possible
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
