i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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