Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
