i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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