make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Someone shattered a urinal.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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