I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
