help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
