Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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