I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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