Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
