i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
