I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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