he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
