I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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