ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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