VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
