Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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