roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
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Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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