Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
