We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize