I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Who died my cat blue again?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
