I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
