I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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