Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
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Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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