Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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