I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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