As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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