MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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