P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
