okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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