I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize