Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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