Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.