What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You're a waste of cheezeits
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
